The Best of Desi Lydic in 2022 | The Daily Show

By | January 21, 2023

Desi Lydic: Daily Show Correspondent, undercover Girl Scout, future Pulitzer winning journalist (maybe), and so much more. This is the best of Desi Lydic in 2022. #DailyShow #Comedy

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For over twenty-five years, the groundbreaking, Emmy and Peabody award-winning The Daily Show has entertained audiences each night with hilarious, provocative and insightful satire about our society that helps make sense of the world. The Daily Show redefined the late night show category on TV and, with an audience of over 44M across social media platforms, has become a launching pad for some of the biggest stars in entertainment.

This next chapter of this iconic franchise showcases its diverse news team of correspondents and contributors, including Ronny Chieng, Michael Kosta, Desi Lydic, Dulcé Sloan, Roy Wood Jr., Lewis Black and Jordan Klepper, comedy greats as guests hosts, and interviews with influential and emerging voices from across society.

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[Music] [Applause] [Music] [Applause] The January 6 Committee just wrapped its First series of hearings into the So-called assault on the capitol but What does it all mean and why is it Totally meaningless I watched a lot of Those hearings earlier and you know the Black drama and the visuals are not all That appealing it was intensely boring What is the point when you have an Abusively corrupt bias committee like This I don't see any Prime Time hearing Set for gas price for battling inflation Feeding our children we're making the Streets safer well I've been watching Fox News for 439 hours straight and I'm Ready to Fox Blame the January 6 Hearings First off these hearings are boring and Nothing boring is worth paying attention To that's why I've never filed a tax Return everyone on this January 6th sham Mini is anti-trump where are the Pro-trump pro-january 6 people Lauren Bobert Marjorie Taylor green the Q Anon Shaman what does he have to do to get on The committee storm the capital again I want to know what Trump did on January 6. what about what he did on February 6th or April 10th there's so many days This committee is a Witch Hunt full of

Witch Hunters but witch hunter should They be hunting Hunter Biden Democrats Are so hypocritical they call Donald Trump a liar but they believe all these People who worked for Donald Trump who We know is a liar these hearings were All heresy heresy horsey Hiroshima what About the real insurrections the Insurrection inside Biden's brain the Insurrection inside bouchi's Disney lab The Insurrection inside my loins when That snap from the hearing shows up oh So everyone's upset about missing texts And call logs where was this outrage for All the missing ballots that Democrats Composted and ground into impossible Burger meat we need to hear from the Secret service agent also any secret Service agent who testifies is a traitor Why didn't Trump call the National Guard Oh so now you want rich white people to Call the police make up your mind Liberals yeah some people ask for Parties asking for pardon is the polite Thing to do oh did I bump into you Pardon me I'm sorry did I cut you off Pardon me my goodness did I accidentally Try to orchestrate the murder of my Colleagues at the hands of a mom pardon Me what happened to People's manners It's a conspiracy because one member of Congress asked for a pardon two members That that's barely at three Small Soiree six

Plus a lawyer and a chief of staff it's Just important Groupon totally innocent Well that's everything you need to know About the January 6 hearings I hope that Helped Liz Cheney has dragon wings Hey everyone I'm Twitter head of Communication there's a lot a lot going On right now but I just want to assure You that everything's under control Comedy is legal on Twitter again okay Please stop impersonating Elon Musk Please stop impersonating our Advertisers please stop impersonating me I do not eat my own farts okay we are Pausing blue checks you can't eat a fart You can't do it comedy it's mostly legal On Twitter if you have any questions Just contact customer support nope they Were fired for eight dollars a month Anyone can get a blue check mark a great Check mark an invisible check mark if You have any questions you can contact Our verification team nope they were Fired okay Chevrolet is not coming out With a car called The Hitler mobile Comedy has been downgraded to semi-legal On Twitter if you see a verified account Please assume that it's fake all right Fake tweet alert everyone John Kerry is Not quote so horny his nuts about to Bust comedy is now illegal on Twitter Well uh I've been fired it's been fun I'm back from now on if you want to Imitate someone your bio has to say

Parody not your bio your account name Your account name and your bio have to Say look in the mirror and say parody Three times new policy you now have to Pay eight dollars a month to not be Verified well hope that cleared things Up thanks for using Twitter everyone JK we don't speak Spanish hello migrants On behalf of the flight crew Ron DeSantis and Tucker Carlson's producers Thank you for being used as a prop on This non-stop flight from Texas to Wherever the hell we're sending you Please listen closely to the following Instructions as your safety is important To like half the country at this time Your seatbelt should be fastened your Laptop stowed and your faith in America Just a little bit shaken there's no Smoking on this flight tampering with Disabling or destroying the lavatory Smoke detectors is prohibited by law but Then again so is this whole stunt so Whatever when we reach 30 000 feet the Cabin crew will be coming around to Offer you jobs that don't exist in case Of an emergency an oxygen mask will drop Down in front of you if that happens Pretend you're a republican governor and Help yourself before you help others on Behalf of the flight crew your pilots And Ron desantis's presidential Ambitions thanks for flying with us bye Bye now

[Music] [Applause] We can place 100 of the blame for all of It on Joe Biden and John Kerry this war Is the green New Deal War there's much Blame to go around Colonel vidman uh Adam Schiff Nancy Pelosi it all happened Because of a rigged election look Russia Is now being canceled well folks the Wussification of America is on Full Display and Vladimir Putin is going to Waltz right in and Conquer one of the Largest countries in Europe there they All sat on Friday Friday in the White House wearing their ludicrous face Coverings do they have any idea how weak That made America look our military Chiefs cowering in pathetic little masks I think you can say well Putin's out of His mind yes maybe so but at the same Time he's being compelled by God could It be that Greta thundberg and Leonardo DiCaprio actually might be to blame for What Vladimir Putin is doing Russia has Invaded Ukraine why is this happening What does it mean where is Hillary Clinton's email server well I've been Watching Fox News for 648 hours straight And I'm ready to Fox Lane Ukraine Why did Putin invade Ukraine the answer Is complex but let me try to explain Barisma critical race gender Minnie Mouse in a pant suit don't believe me Take a look inside the gender-neutral

Bathroom in Hunter Biden's laptop this Is happening because President Biden is Weak when Donald Trump was President Putin didn't meddle in Ukraine he Meddled in America who is strong and Biden is weak America needs a strong Leader by the way why are we supposed To look at Vladimir Putin is evil he's Not the one poisoning our children with Critical racing Vladimir Putin is evil I've always said That I have never said that Vladimir Putin is a handsome genius with a Hottie's body let me be clear Vladimir Putin is a handsome genius with Abby's Body he is a tyrannical leader he was Not democratically elected and he alone Is responsible for this I'm talking About Joe Biden if that isn't clear Sanctions really Joe we need to be Sending cruise missiles Chevy cruises Penelope cruises Norwegian Cruise Lines We need to do far more to support our Allies in Yugoslavia Ukraine Ukraine Tom Cruise's Terry Cruz's booze cruises Booze Allen Tim Allen Allen Iverson you know it gets all This crisis in minutes Ivermectin Vladimir Putin if I was your mother I Wouldn't make you wear a mask at school Vladimir Putin is evil but in some ways He's a hero but in more ways he's a Villain a strong villain a patriot a Tyrant a menace a mensch Pete budajach

Took maternity leave Vladimir Putin rode A bear he's evil though yet seductive Vladimir Putin supports Trump I also Support Trump does that make me Vladimir Putin Russia is basically being canceled First Mr Potato Head now Mr Putin head And that's pretty much all you need to Know about the Ukraine situation According to Fox News NATO is run by Vampires Hi I'm Peabody Award wanting Investigative journalist Desi lytic Elections they're the Bedrock of Democracy and the only thing preventing Us from not having elections but is America's election system reliable or Are we one glitchy voting machine away From a total collapse all investigate in Our new segment votedemic 2022 our Crumbling election infrastructure After our nation's last elections went Super smooth dozens of Voters were Locked out of the one single polling Place for all of Louisville reports of Hours of long lines voting machine Malfunctions provisional ballot Shortages officials are looking at Culling in the National Guard I wanted To find out how ready we are for the Midterms so I'm headed to our nation's Capital to talk with election Advocates At the Democracy fund my name is Tammy Patrick I'm a senior advisor to the Elections team at the Democracy fund

Which seeks to ensure that we have an Open ingest just democracy that is Inclusive and trustworthy for all of our Citizens sounds like you got your work Cut out for you we do in this moment There's a lot of work to be done but it May not be in the areas that you Necessarily think it is all right what Are all the problems for this upcoming Election so we continue to see a Shortage of poll workers the global Supply chain issues under funding of our Election infrastructure Tammy Tammy Tammy let's let's start with the most Pressing issue well one of the most Pressing issues at this moment because Of where we are in the election cycle is A paper shortage Paper Paper Tammy it's 2022 who's using paper To vote so the vast majority of Americans actually cast a paper ballot Yeah no I knew that I I vote every election I got the Stickers to prove it well that's great But election offices all around this Country have ordered their ballots They've ordered envelopes they've Ordered paper materials that they need And they may not get them in time for The upcoming election who's going to be Affected by this paper shortage most What it looks like is going to happen Will be those small election offices

Serving rural communities where they Don't have a large service provider That's helping them take care of this Issue are you saying that the rural Community in my rural Am I saying that right rural the rural Okay you know what I'm saying as I Learned about this large swath of Americans rural very rural I realize This paper shortage could affect a lot Of people well I guess I gotta go find Some paper people oh wait there's more To talk about can it Tammy but can America just sneaks in printer paper Home from work like the rest of us I Went to run back election Services one Of the largest ballot printing Facilities to get an inside look at how Dire the paper shortage is we print a Balance for several States and counties Across the Nation we're in 23 States Plus Washington DC with some some of our Products wow so so you're a huge part of The voting process yeah we touch roughly 45 to 50 percent of the voters around The country you touch a lot of Voters Yep but with consent absolutely so What's going on with this paper shortage Yeah started during covet when the paper Mill shut down they couldn't generate More paper so they sold through all Their inventory and then when they Started going back to work they Converted to liner board for cardboard

Boxes right Amazon still needs to ship Things Bezos man and now we don't have The inventory any longer and so they're Trying to play catch-up and you're Saying there's a paper shortage Happening right now yes Foreign Jeff I don't know how to tell You this but I see a ton of paper around Here so what you see here on our Production floor is a fraction of what We need for the whole year every day We'll go through 65 of those rolls 65 of these roles yes Historically we could order paper and in Two to three weeks we would have what we Need now it's three to four months or More and that's been the problem this Year how bad are we talking like we Might need to start printing Double-sided bad or the majority of Americans won't get to choose their President bad well let's hope it doesn't Get to that everybody's working to avoid That very problem but we already do Print double-sided ballots so there is We already print on both sides of the Paper Jeff that means it's bad kinda walk me Through everything that would be Affected if the election Community runs Out of paper if there's no paper it's Hard to mail balance envelopes I voted Stickers and instructions voting Stickers voting stickers could be gone

Could be Baker's the best part of voting The only reason I vote could also do Digital stickers Instead of getting the physical sticker You get a digital sticker when you vote Jeff that's the dumbest thing I've ever Heard fair enough okay I just have a few More questions Ah yes What can Americans do to help with the Paper shortage Um stop wasting paper Cursive why am I writing in cursive stop Sting Paper All right you want to take me on a tour Sure I'm ready to go to work all right Let's go You're gonna wear a hard hat yeah that's What you do right no it was time to roll Up my sleeves so I didn't get ink on Them gross this paper Palace was pompan And it turns out there's a lot more to Printing than just hitting Ctrl P so This is where it all starts we get the Files from the county the PDFs so we can Start the print process ah let me ask You a question does PDF really stand for Please don't no I could see how crucial paper was to This process so every roll of paper will Generate about a thousand ballots when We're running in an election we'll be

Running 24 hours a day seven days a week These run 24 hours a day yes Wait what's happening uh this machine Just ran out of paper [Music] So this is the inserter this is where The ballots the I voted sticker the Instructions all go into the envelope to Be mailed out to the voter you say the Stickers yeah I voted stickers yes these Ones right here yes Oh now so even if a paper shortage does Ruin America's democracy at least I'll Be able to participate in the most Important part of the voting process [Music] Hi I'm Desi Lydig here outside the polls On Election Day I would be inside voting But I've got one too many felony Convictions so instead I'm doing some Exit polling I'm just doing a little bit of a exit Polling can I ask you a few questions Sure great um did you face your decision To exit based on a sign above the door That said exit or just like a gut Decision Huh did you just exit the polls yes we Did thank you for your time What was your exit experience like uh The last few questions on the ballot Were all about you know things we would Both yes or no for to include free New York and one of them was about having

Values for the city I don't want to know what's on the Ballot well you voted I'm more Interested in exiting like what was your Exiting experience like was there an Exit sign over the door I didn't even Notice Were you paying attention to anything Important yeah I was paying attention to The voting What direction do you think we're headed In the way things are looking it's very Frightening oh I'm sorry I don't mean as A country I just mean in terms of where The door is The door looks like it's leading in the Wrong direction away from democracy no I Mean like literally I'm asking literally About the door like do you open it with Your hands butt push the exit door is Open thank you I mean is it that hard to Talk about doors Well yes because you think there's some Symbolism attached to them No I don't I know symbolism the color was the paint In there are we talking eggshell or more Of an off-white It was it was eggshell but a lot of Bread but you know this isn't really how Exit polls work I mean I have a 13 year Old here and I'm teaching him The whole Civic process oh no I know That I know what exit polls are I just

Cannot talk about these candidates for One more second yeah I hear you it's not Really about four doors no I I know what Exit polling is it's just that the Midterms stressed me out so much that I Want to talk about literally anything Else like this morning I woke up in a Cold sweat screaming we selled it I Think the economy is also very important I don't want to hear about that just um What did the door handle look like Your coordinator yes uh just the man I'm Looking for I'm doing some exit polling Can you talk to me about the design of The exits all right basically the exits Uh we have our front as this so people Could come in the building also the People that are handicapped or whatever Can still come out the same way they Went in oh God Entrance is also his schedule yes this Is just the information I was looking For finally someone who can give me the Answers that I want thank you [Applause] Okay go go quickly because I don't like Goodbyes I hate seeing and leave but I Love watching you go not like a pervy Way just like an exiting pull away Other mobile networks claim to be Reliable but their customers face Problems like this a seven hour gap in President Trump's call logs Mark Meadows Filed a new complaint accusing the

January 6 Committee of leaking his text Messages another leaked audio recording Of Houseman order leader Kevin McCarthy's phone calls live streamed Himself storming the capitol introducing Coo mobile America's most reliable Network for coordinating a successful Insurrection QMobile gives you all the Minutes you need with no dropped calls You want to hang Mike Pence not hang up On him we have America's largest Coverage area so whether you're watching The chaos you've unleashed from the White House or smearing feces in Nancy Pelosi's office I got shot in the face With some kind of plastic bullet you'll Have five full bars of 5G coverage and With our friends family and Co-conspirators plan you get unlimited Talk and text with sons daughters the Wives of Supreme Court Justices Fox News Hosts and pillow eyes and we at Kumo Will value your privacy which is why we Won't comply with any subpoenas from the January 6 committee Plus with no annual contract you can Cancel at any time freedom So if you're ready to overthrow Democracy and your current carrier make The switch today KU mobile let's Mobilize to the capital Water whether it's smart sparkling or Secretly Vodka it's all around us but a New movement believes that just like

Trump we're drinking water all wrong the So-called raw water Trend something Called raw water raw water ball water Techies in San Francisco are guzzling it By the gallon folk and stores that sell Raw water are running out from Bernie Bros to Silicon Valley raw water is the Health trend of 2018. and leading the Movement is the clothing optional Founder of Live Water mukhande Singh I Couldn't wait to see what this raw Lifestyle is all about Oh you wore clothes We're not doing Okay what exactly is raw water so raw Water is unsterilized pristine spring Water That still has a lot of the healthy Probiotics in it there are probiotics in Live Water like the stuff that Jamie Lee Curtis keeps on pushing yeah this is the Healthiest choice for water limewaters Thousands and thousands of customers Agree even though the mainstream is Pretty skeptical water is water it Doesn't have probiotics in it damn it Close again Oh why shouldn't I drink raw water you Could get sick people going out and Drinking from streams is risky but some Might say that raw water is the most Pristine water you can drink it might be But how do you know what's Upstream from It there might be animals contaminating

It or human waste contaminating it okay But what are your qualifications uh Doctorate in molecular biology and a Master's in Public Health Nutrition okay And mukundi's qualifications I've Studied a lot of yoga and self Meditation and journeying Okay but even without mainstream degrees Mukundi's business is skyrocketing after All he's selling the one thing that Lasts forever so live water is freshest Within one lunar cycle because it can Turn green if the water gets too hot I'm Sorry I thought I heard you say that the Water turns green it turns green because There's healthy microbes in it I'll be Right back got it healthy water should Turn green well no it would shoot water Is water it's clear it's clear until one Lunar cycle are you following not at all Most people in the world would give Anything to have a clean water supply What's wrong with turning on a tap I'll ask the questions here what's so Wrong about tap water so tap water has a Lot of synthetic things like fluoride And chloramine oh my God fluoride we put Fluoride in the water to prevent tooth Decay these are great Public Health Achievements okay so fluoride is good no Fluoride makes people more docile it's a Mind control drug the government is Controlling our minds with fluoride They could be

What mind control drugs that sounds like Something someone would say who's being Controlled by the mind I don't understand what the I don't even Understand the question I mean this guy Is a charlatan who's part of a whole Anti-science movement but if Floyd being A government-induced mind control drug Is anti-science where's Live Water Getting all these sciency charts and Evidence there's a lot of evidence to Support that if you just go to the third Page of Google the third page of Google That's where it really makes sense when You say evidence do you mean conspiracy Theory it's not a conspiracy if it's True you know 911 I think we all know What really happened there what really Happened there let's go to the third Page of Google okay so I did but the Only thing I discovered about 911 is That it's ludicrous's birthday and the Only thing I discovered about live water Is that holy [ __ ] how much does this Cost two and a half gallon glass jugs Are 22 each And then 12 to 16 per jug so basically It's like the cost of a bottle of water And then lighting 28 on fire it's a new Idea I can understand why there might be Hesitation but I recommend people try it Well just like I told Wolf Blitzer at That cocktail party I'll try anything Once so I agree to venture deep into the

Wilderness So here is our beautiful spring this is Where you get water you want to try some Yeah I'll wait for you go first and then I'll I'll get right to it [Music] Oh God please don't let there be a dead Body up straight [Music] It tastes good huh It tastes like water yeah with healthy Probiotics and minerals in it Tried just a little bit of spring water What's the worst thing that could happen You could get dysentery you could get Cholera you could get Giardia the Oregon Trail diseases Oh God the all the Oregon Trail diseases And all the new ones that have come Since Okay In the end much like the Oregon Trail Raw water and other anti-science Movements will probably Forge ahead but As for me I feared a different fate [Music] [Applause] [Applause] [Music]