Day Dates vs. Dinner Dates – Hold Up with Dulcé Sloan & Josh Johnson | The Daily Show

By | January 12, 2023

“You can actually have an experience with a person in a day date, that I think in dinner dates you’re limited.” – Josh Johnson

“What I’m saying is, you better take a bitch to dinner first. You better spend them coins.” – Dulcé Sloan

It’s day dates vs. dinner dates this week on Hold Up with Daily Show correspondent Dulcé Sloan and writer Josh Johnson. #DailyShow #HoldUp #Podcast

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For over twenty-five years, the groundbreaking, Emmy and Peabody award-winning The Daily Show has entertained audiences each night with hilarious, provocative and insightful satire about our society that helps make sense of the world. The Daily Show redefined the late night show category on TV and, with an audience of over 44M across social media platforms, has become a launching pad for some of the biggest stars in entertainment.

This next chapter of this iconic franchise showcases its diverse news team of correspondents and contributors, including Ronny Chieng, Michael Kosta, Desi Lydic, Dulcé Sloan, Roy Wood Jr., Lewis Black and Jordan Klepper, comedy greats as guests hosts, and interviews with influential and emerging voices from across society.

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Hey everyone it's Josh Johnson and we Want to know what do you want to hear us Argue about next on the show okay it's Very easy to let us know you can drop a Comment on any of the daily shows clips Of hold up whether it's Instagram Facebook Tick Tock YouTube or Twitter You can also hit us up with the hashtag Holdup and honestly if we have an Opinion about it we'll do an episode About it we both love to talk we love to Argue and we love you so without uh Anything else let's uh let's get into The show Foreign How you doing hello how's the day going You know if you were using this to fall Asleep big mistake all right this is Hold up so wake up yeah and enjoy some Of these Hot Topics we are coming to you With the most important things to us not The world not your peers you this will Not make you seem smart when you go and Hang out with your friends and you all Discuss podcasts Um we're not talking about world events We're not talking about current events We're talking about the things that are Happening in our lives that we are Diametrically opposed on okay and so Today we're talking with uh myself one Of your co-hosts Josh Johnson I'm a Writer for The Daily Show and I am Joined by

I'm a correspondent on this hair Daily Show and uh I am going to tell you what today's top Is going to be because I was in Arlington Virginia over the Weekend and a very nice lady in a very Gorgeous pink like a light like a Dusty Pea coat pink pea coat by the name of a Jessie Gave me some topics to discuss on this Show And one of those topics is Day dates Versus dinner dates when we tell you Come tell us come to our shows and tell Us she said she found out that I was Going to be at the Arlington draft house Because I was listening to the show We're always like come see us come talk To us And she came there she came And she talked and now we're doing her Topic on the show so shout out to Jesse And Arlington in Arlington Virginia Thank you for coming to see me at the Arlington Draft House and this is Day Dates versus dinner dates now Josh You've been on dates before uh soon yes We hope Mm-hmm Now I think I have a feeling An inclination A little tickle in my ear yeah okay About what I think Think

[Music] You might pick But tell the people Joshua yeah yeah What As a former Trader Joe's employee and She's like what is that even have to do With anything Who was out here trying to date people Wow What do you prefer Day dates Or dinner dates okay mm-hmm Well I believe that both of these dates Are important I truly believe that they're both Important I think that for your peace of Mind for your time and for your overall Day as an individual I'm gonna go with Day dates All right you said Day dates I can Explain what I've heard what I heard was I don't have any money No no that's not what it is I promise Not out because the day date is done by The man Coffee Because he doesn't want to end Me into trying to see my vagine no no no So he can spend 7.25 at a Starbucks And then maybe get dinner later nah nah Nah nah let's be very clear here okay I Just said both dates were important I Didn't say they weren't I am saying that For your day as the individual and I Can't explain I'm not saying that no one

That loves Day dates isn't broke All right I'm not I'm not gonna be out Here telling you That no one that loves Day dates has no Money that's not what I'm saying I'm saying functionally functionally I Think that it's It's an easier and it's a better uh Impression Tell us about your poverty go ahead My poverty like that this is my thing I'm not even oh wow okay so I'm not even Cold I'm just trying to protect myself From all the things you're about to say Wow this is like both calmly And like And this is like maybe the most sideways You've ever covered me like like this is Actually this is actually wild because You're not like it's you're not yelling Or anything you're not you know being Being belligerent or anything you're Very calmly coming truly for my neck Like it like and I I don't I wow where's All this coming from I'll tell you why From the look at that I'm I'm Gonna tell you why okay I believe that a Lot of pressure is put on people and This is like everything that I'm Describing right now is going to be Genderless okay I'm talking about all of Dating I'm talking about everybody who Does date all right there's an Incredible amount of pressure and

There's an incredible amount of like um Anxiety around just dates in general First Dates especially okay I think that Rather when I look at myself as an Individual and and what it was like in Chicago when I was dating and stuff like That I think that it is A much easier thing to start your day Because the the benefit that I think the Day dates have that dinner dates don't Night dates don't is that if we hang out Long enough It goes into the night you know if You're having a good time if you're Having a good time and you and you enjoy My company we're we're into the we're Into the night date now now we're gonna Go get dinner you know and I think that You also lessen the amount of anxiety You have throughout the day because when You do have a night date like a dinner Date You're worried about that thing all day Especially if you really like the person Or you really want them to like you That's anxiety driving all day so you Nip some of that in the bud by starting The day like you woke up you had your Breakfast maybe you worked out maybe you Just you know went to you know work or Something especially if this if this day Date is on a weekend you did a couple Things and then you met someone and you Met up and you were able in my opinion

There are better activities to do during The day Than there are at night sometimes so if I want to take you on a uh Like an event there's like there's There's concerts at night there's comedy Shows at night there's there's all this Stuff but you can actually have an Experience with a person in a day date That I think in in dinner dates you're Limited and also with with uh late night Dates or nighttime dates you do start to Have the pressures of like okay where Are we gonna end up where is this going Was whereas I think in a day day you Talked about the broke dudes I think in The day-date you you either have to Really believe in yourself or you have To be having the best date of all time To think that you're gonna pull a Bedroom at this date if y'all met up at 2PM That's that's all I'm saying is that I Think a nighttime day if we're meeting Up at 10 if if if you're going on a date With someone and y'all are meeting up at Nine to have dinner right see no no it's Almost bedtime to begin with no you Can't meet that late for dinner date you Can't meet that late I'm just but night Is night to me night is night We all know that going to dinner at Seven and going to dinner at 10 One there's a whole different class

Restaurant yeah a lot of restaurants Close at 10. if I may even get them at 10 I see what you're saying there are more Like I've gone to I've had daytime dates like had brunch Um gone to the belt line here and walked Around with some dude got all my steps In that day I'll tell you that damn much Um But oh oh I'll offer up one last thing Because I I don't I don't I apologize For interrupting but I do want to offer Up one last thing when you were on a day Date the the ability to split With these go sideways goes up Exponentially because you have a Nighttime day yes you have a nighttime Date you know and they know that y'all Both plan to be here So then when you get the text of like oh Your apartment's on fire or whatever It's like it's blatantly obvious you're Just trying to leave like it like it Just is unless it was going wonderfully And y'all are both vibing and it's Undeniable whatever people can tell that You're trying to get out of there Whereas with a day-date if it goes Sideways at all the whole rest of the Day is what you have to look forward to So you can be like oh hey yeah my dog Freaking out so I gotta go See he just hit me telepathically and so

Yeah my roommate told me like you don't Have roommates I'm like it is what it is Bro I gotta go Um I've told guys on date this isn't gone I'm gonna go yeah yeah it's like oh do You have something else to do No Yeah yeah I've been I've been on a date before Where I I said in the middle of and I Didn't say it in a rude way and I wasn't Like it wasn't like I was getting some Attitude I was just like ah this one's Not going well is it And like it was just a thing where we Both agreed we were both like like we Started laughing we were like ah yeah I Don't know what it was we both from both Of us we thought we'd like each other And it's like nah I've had that I had a Date go bad to the point and I had to Drive for this date too like I drove Like 30 over 30 minutes it was like Atlantis you drive 30 minutes all the Time but almost 40 minutes for this date It doesn't go well and so It's not going well to the point where He offers to get Food to go for my mom like it's just a Good Southern boy yeah yeah just trying To be a gentleman in the face of a date That's just mid not it's fine it's not Going well and I'm just like yeah I

Think I'm gonna get two appetizers bro And then yeah and you know Like this isn't It and he's like he's like this is again A certain point he's like this isn't Going good and he's like no he's like You want to order something for your mom I was like short I call my mom I'm like Hey I'm out of Applebee's what do you Want Um and I got her like an entree and he Goes you can get a dessert too and just A nice white man in the Army it's taking Me on a date because you also know like That's the thing about when you're when You're when it's going poorly Unless someone is delusional two people Can feel it you know yeah but you'd be Surprised a number of times I've been on Date with the guy really thought Hey what'd I just say about delusional I also don't understand like some of my Friends Really want you to give somebody a Chance like Well wait wait wait wait wait wait wait Wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait Wait wait wait wait wait [Laughter] So I was gonna go over to the stand this Is Halloween right I'm gonna go to the Stand anyways so I think the date was at Like seven and we got pizza the date Started with a church hug and anyway the

Church hug and when the thing that was up we've been talking about like For like three weeks like texting I was Like we went like on an app we ain't Texting and stuff and been like we've Been sending each other like playlists And stuff like that and all these other Things we talked on the phone and then I Met him in person I just went nope Like as soon as I saw him I was like um I don't want to put my mouth on him and That's my gauge now that's my gauge if I See a man I was like I don't want to put My mouth in this man Yeah no why do I come with it what does He keep talking for and so we're on the Date I don't remember the he was Talking about but the whole time I was Like no Yeah no and then at the end he was Asking what I was gonna do it's like I Was gonna hand over to the sand he was Like Okay cool I can do that I'm like I Didn't They had a spot at the stand too and so I was like right and I was like no he's Like but you're going to a comedy club I Said I'm going to work yeah yeah yeah Yeah And he's like I mean but it's not like The same I said do you want me to sit Next to you in a cubicle Because that's what the this is I'm

Going to work yeah After me having to go no he's like well I can just come anyway it's like it's a Comedy club I can go if I want to and I Was like Really Yeah that would it would very much be Weird now Because I already told you no and now You're just like well it doesn't matter I can go for once and I was like Yeah I'm gonna go Now okay I I want to get a sense From you of of why you so deeply Dislike the the Day dates outside of the Because I I feel like I've I've Acknowledged the Brokenness that some People exhibit yes but I've also given What I feel are very valid reasons to Start with a day date because if you Really like this person it's going into The night so I feel like I get the best Of both worlds I understand The this is the thing with the day date It's The day date feels very much like The day date seems like something you Only do if you're not sure if you like Somebody Okay Like if you know that you like somebody Just do a regular date But if it's hey you want to hang out Tomorrow then it's a day then the

Day-date make because there are things You can do During the day that you can't do at Night you're right but I feel like the day day is very much Very tentative very tent to tent it's I Don't know how I feel [Laughter] Very true Also tattoo is a real word um It's you're not sure about the person so It's like I don't want to Spend my nighttime hours with someone I'm not sure let me go ahead and see you At 3 P.M because like I like like a Brunch situation because like I've had Like gotten dinner with a guy or like Gotten coffee with a guy And then it turned into us getting Dinner I see I see I this is what I'll I'll Pitch you and it's what I tell all my Friends when they're when they're dating Is that I found The best dates and the and this is this Is regardless of what you choose to do And once again this is for everybody I Find that the best dates are things that You were going to do anyway that you Want to see if you enjoy someone else's Company while doing which is why I Um chose the Day dates because to me It's like okay I've always wanted to try This place I've always wanted to try

This thing let me both try this thing And bring someone along that I think I Might enjoy their company because I I Also find that a lot of people a lot of People a lot of my friends get flaked on Right and when you get flaked on and It's like okay I was gonna get I was Gonna get dinner at this nice restaurant With this person and now they've Canceled is a very different feeling Than like I've always wanted to try you Know just throwing it out there as a General date idea it's like I've always Wanted to try ax throwing so let me try Ax throwing and let me do it with this Person who I think is cool and then they Flake out and it's like all right look Maybe I'm going to act Story by myself Now but I've always wanted to try ax Throwing and it's a very different day Now and you also have the rest of and You know if I can if I can speak to Confidence and psyche and all that stuff For a second second A day date gives the rest of your day Time to recover if the thing does not go Well and if you don't get the desired Result whereas a nighttime date it's Like now I just gotta go to bed upset Right but if a day date doesn't go well Then I still then it's the whole rest of My day it's not like this didn't Go to well let me go to bed it's oh this Date didn't go well and it's only 4 30.

I see we're saying the same thing but we Disagree on how it makes us feel that Makes sense yeah yeah like I understand Like you were gonna go do something Anyway like I've gone to Day dates where You've gone to like an aquarium or A museum or I've done archery or I've Done these different things where it's Like like the whole going to the movies And going on a date thing I think is one I think one of my guy friends was saying To me like it doesn't he doesn't like to Do it because You're sitting with somebody for two Hours in the dark and you're not getting To know them at all you're just sitting With them in the dark watching I think You guys just know they're able to be Quiet right you just never be quiet how They're gonna react to a movie Um and then you have but then you'd have That then have something to talk about At dinner because now we can sit out and Like sit up and talk about and analyze The movie or film because I think films And movies are two totally different Things uh-huh and we can hey that's a Different day that's a different day That's a different day we both agree we Know what I'm saying you know what I'm Saying yeah yeah Fast and Furious is not A film we're gonna relax we can all Relax so Like I've said recently that like if

There's a guy that shoot like a person You really like you know we don't have To gender anybody Um but especially if you're dealing with Men Regardless of what your preference is if You're dealing with men I think a good first date especially Dealing with It's just Heterosexual men I think an escape room Is a great first date because Hey I'm gonna tell you I'm gonna tell You I'm gonna tell you I'll tell you One Will he take directions from a woman Okay because some men won't yeah two Can he be collaborative can he be Cooperative is he does he only Is he a creative thinker how does he Work under pressure Is he a leader is he a follower is he Motivating is he helpful is he good at Problem solving doing puzzles can he do Math what color is he colorblind like There are all these things because like We've done an escape room in Miami Together and there's so many things that Go on in escape room where you have to Collect like it's this idea of being Able to cooperate with people you know And strangers and people you don't know Well I think is a really good thing if

You don't know somebody because some People just get angry and just shut the down I've seen that escaping before We're just like I don't get this and Then they're just done you're like bro We have 57 more minutes in here stand up Help Foreign The reason I brought up the anxiety and The confidence and the nervousness and Stuff like that for Day dates versus Like nighttime dates is that I think That There's there's a way that you can like Free yourself up To to your point about Um Like uh not being sure about a person or Not yeah I mean like like to your point About that I think though it's a Double-edged sword because yes that is That is how some people are going to Take it and that's how some people are Going to use it but I also think that You're able to see someone potentially In their best light when they are uh not Under the pressure of uh of like What people make nighttime dates out to Be in their mind I understand what You're saying but for me a date is a Date pressure like it's always Whether it's 3 P.M or 7 P.M or 9 00 p.m I'm nervous okay whether the Sun is up Or it is taking its you know Slumber for

The evening It's still a date so I'm still Here no to be awesome you know what I Mean I understand I understand what you Mean that that makes sense because at Least for a nighttime date because also There's stunts you can't put like it's Like you can't ask somebody to meet at 7 Pm for coffee yeah yeah there's certain Things that happen in the evening it's Like okay I expect it's like Dinner in this or dinner and that but Also I've realized that like just going To dinner With somebody Doesn't give you enough Info really doesn't give you enough Anything so I think like Inactivity in dinner Is I think The way to go so if you do something Earlier in the day Where it's like let's meet at seven go Do this and then get dinner after Because there's like too much stuff you Want to do after dinner you know what I Mean exactly and I I think that this is Also important that'll offer up to the Listeners just in case they are still Coming at me the way you were coming at Me at the beginning if they still think That I'm broke or I'm what I also don't Drink and so I think that a lot of Nighttime activities they don't exclude

Me I'll go to a bar I'll hang out I've Been playing with parties with you but Like but like I also am of a mind of Like let me because I don't just I don't Drink I don't care if uh the person that I you know went on the date with at the Time drank but I just feel like Let me let let me pick something for us To do that can be the most fun for both Of us so that you can see me having fun You can see like what I'm like when I'm Fun as opposed to uh being at a bar Because now that's that's the thing I've Always worried about ever since I you Know became of age to drink yeah was was That since I've never drank before I don't want to now seem like a weirdo Did alcohol no no I just feel like it's Not it's not really for me you know it's Not like even a judgment thing Um And that's and that's the thing is ever Since I've been 21 I've literally been Like uh I don't want to be that guy that takes Someone to a bar and then doesn't drink That seems like a very Odd guy no that is the creepy creepiest Of movies and that's why I've had to That's why I've had to be like we're Going to dinner or we're going to go to This concert or we're gonna like I Literally have to lean on activities Because because I don't drink right yeah

If you drink it'll actually like make it A lot easier for you to be like Hey you want to go grab a drink so People like if you like for people who It's like going to get coffee later on In the day it's like hey you want to go Grab drinks and then that's where my Coffee comes from Right so the coffee thing so it's like Okay so it's too late I don't want to Meet at four So then let's go get tricks and then you Go get drinks and then if drinks are Good then you go get food or then you go I don't know have sex like you're only Two options I have to drink I'll really Offer up this as well for Day dates if Somebody's crazy it's broad daylight Right now That's the thing but I also know I'll Say this Certain crazies Only come out at night Right Like crazy yeah yeah yeah date crazy the Sun has to be there Okay it's like when a werewolf it's like Date yeah so do you think they wouldn't Tell on themselves though if they went On let's say you got them on Three Day Dates You think they'd stop Who's doing okay I would be crazy after Three day dates I understand but I'm

Just saying for the sake of argument Let's say you're like they just happen To shake out that way Honestly it's I I think it if you're gonna do a day date You have to show more effort Yeah no a ton of effort goes into a good Like this this thing that I was Initially let's go grab a coffee walk in The park boo yeah but that's the thing I Was initially pushing back off because That's not what I meant by Day dates you Know I understand that that's in there And I and I acknowledged immediately I Was like hey I've been broke before I Know what broke dudes do I understand That this is an aspect But for me as someone who doesn't drink I would like no we're gonna do this Thing And it's and it and it'll be fun Um but it and it happens to be like Because I still call a day-date like Five to me but the problem is with five O'clock that if you have a day date at Five And it doesn't go well yeah Then now it's interrupted your day and Your evening yep I mean that is part of The risk you take though okay I'm going To hang out with a person Also that's the time is very easily Cancel like canceled on Oh you're right you're right or someone

Being late because it's yeah also 5 a PM Is when people usually get off work Yeah if you're having a day-date during The week at five maybe both of you Either are working from home or you Don't have jobs or one has a job and one Doesn't one works from home and one has No job like there there is something to Be said for a five o'clock but I could Do five o'clock Um dates back in Chicago cuz working at Trader Joe's I have very specific shifts And so sometimes I got off it too You know And you also have to factor in both for You and the person that you're going on Date with once again this goes for Everybody right right I think that Especially on the basis of a first date Nobody can take it too personally that People are planning The date around their lives if that Makes sense so yes I don't understand Why someone would be upset because like One of my friends was like she Has a date and she'll have a date and She always makes sure she has a show After the date after the date yeah Because if it's going hey man I gotta go I gotta show I gotta go I gotta show Yeah but sometimes it's and I've done the I got a show and it's like Oh I can come and I'm like Because I think even if a day goes well

Because I also feel like sometimes when Dates go well people make the mistake of Just like because I had a date one time That lasted like 36 hours yeah yeah And then I never saw him again which was Fine because I didn't need to [Music] Um I'll I'll throw this out there then Sorry I just had a flashback to that Um I'm nervous some people you were You you looked at the camera like you Were seeing him oh I think sometimes we forget the dudes of Small dicks were just as horny as dudes I feel like men with smaller penises are Hornier than dudes with bigger penises I don't think that's right at all I Think it is no this is the thing but This is the thing dudes with a small Dick want to show you their dick as much With the dude with it just as much Uh-huh As a guy with the big dick And they don't warn you they don't say Anything wait what it's like They should they know it's small So why are you doing all this hemming And hawing try to get me to look at it When you know I'm gonna be disappointed I I have no No but I I truly I okay I don't have any Like

Frame of reference for any of this so Like of course you don't because you Don't deal with men no I understand but That's why I'm saying I'm like the thing You said initially did not sound correct But now we're dealing with other factors What did I say what did I say you were Saying that dudes with small penises are Hornier than dudes with big penises and I I feel like I think the reason that I Don't know if that's true is that To me it's not about Because you just said it yourself a Person knows right so I think a lot of People carry themselves like they know And it gives off the vibe that they know Which gives off the vibe to other people That like let me stay away no is that Not true no because Some do you throw anything like big dick Energy There are dudes with small dicks That are running around out here with Big dick in it like real big dick energy Is a very is a completely It's not as we all know it's a thing Right okay but it's not as flagrant Like if you see a very short like if you See a short man with too much confidence He has a big dick we all know this But I think it's just he might have Money No Really oh let me tell you something a

Man with a big dick is an a man That knows he has a big dick is a at all times like a very big Dick he's an they're always an they it's like Men with big dicks act like pretty girls Okay I can get into anywhere you can't Say anything to me I'm unstoppable But the problem is Like one of the smallest dicks I've ever Seen was on a man who was six three And one of my friends was like do you Think it was small it's oh I was I liked Him so much and and I don't even have Time to tell you have funny acting this Dude was with me was with me before this But And my friend was like do you think it Was small because he's so tall And I was like I was like what she's Like because of perspective yeah for Scale for scale and I said no because my Hand is always the same size Oh my God Look listen What I'm saying is yeah yeah so you'll Be on a day date with some small dick Having man okay who's giving you big Dick energy I I understand being extra Flirty extra horny and then all of a Sudden you Are face to face with a dick you can Suck and whistle Dixie at the same time

And he should have never came out the House now help me out though This does not but once again this is a This is an aspect of dating that doesn't Actually it's not like his dick would be Bigger at night he's not like a wear Dick But you just you've just attributed the Small thickness to the day date no but It's going to be small year round right It's going to be about it's it's 24 Hours a day seven days a week till 15 in The morning can't stop won't stop what I'm saying is that Being on a day date that goes well okay That kid then goes into an evening date Okay That goes into y'all hanging out even More And then You're presented Percent Age Like an Emmy For your actions and efforts and service To your country uh-huh you're rewarded With nonsense Okay I'm just saying there should be a Warning because like I was doing this Joke for a while and didn't ever Actually it didn't go the way I wanted To go but I'm just like we need some Type of identifiers I wasted so much

Time flirting with men Whose dicks were Annie's instead of Audis And They need to be branded they need to be Stop wasting people's time I need just I Don't care if it's dots I don't care if It's Morse code when these are 18. okay I need to know let Me stop you right now Garth is awesome So you could have plausible deniability That you lost it first No no the bread bread no I know I Understand hey hey it's a terrible thing To find out branding is a little far Fine tattooed whatever Yes all right no no no no no no no no no No no no I need a jewelry they need to Be I don't care guessing better no Tattooing okay tattoos branding earrings This is something sounded good Cuts in An eyebrow okay it's your heart look Just assume assume something something Give me something I don't care if their Pinky nails are painted different colors Stop wasting people's time Do something oh Lord Okay uh I just need to listen it's You know how big my titties are by Looking at me But okay then now the thing is I was I Could because I can wear something to Make them perkier I could wear a circle

Make them look bigger of course I can Make them look smaller okay I can wear Spanx I can lie to you all kinds of ways Makeup wigs false I can do all of the Things Right but I could also tell the truth Okay I can also tell the truth these men These Illusions these gray pants are not Telling us what we think they need to be Telling us okay everyone's like oh great Pack fan season gray sweatpants season No why am I over here getting excited Over a flash of dick y'all sound wild so Many men are Growers Too Many Men since Growers we Have Got so far away from the actual quality Of the date I feel like now this this is a this is a Separate thing uh I'm what I'm saying is that if you're Out here uh-huh It's playing in If you can't sling Okay If you can only present you can't sling You can only present what I'm saying is You better take a to dinner first You better spin them coins you have to Spend money now you have to spend money You have to you have to You have to Because you're gonna disappoint me at Least I want to have a nice dinner first

[Music] But you you're telling me that a day Like a day date of jet skiing is not Fire We can do a day-date a jet skiing and if You can't jet ski at night no you'll die Yeah that's what I'm saying they're They're trade-offs here yeah you you do It like later on in the day so you can Get off the jet ski have a nice dinner Or something like that a day-date on the Jet ski would be absolutely awesome with it because you know I love Jet skis okay okay they're just water Motorcycles and so And if you've never been on a jet ski Get more white friends that's all I'm Saying uh that's how I got my first jet Ski call occasions and so What I'm saying is that if you are Trying to figure out hey you gotta take This girl on jet skis Or should I take her to the park Look down But I feel like now aren't you just Letting The Blessed get away with more They already are But I'm but I'm saying they already are Is is part of This logic though yes Are you are you good with that no Then then no park for anybody Right yes everybody should pick jet skis

I But do you see how Do you see how I'm helping your art like I was yes Okay all right cool If you have a chance to get on a jet ski Uh-huh get on a jet ski the yeah Get on get on jet ski for real yeah if You're near water if you're able to do a Rental you know if you own a life jacket Then yeah get on jet ski I suggestions Will give you life jackets what I'm Saying is that I just want us to be like 100 like listen I prefer evening day Because you know a nice it's it's nice To go out for the evening yeah I'm Perfect if I'm sitting in my house it's Not you're like you're sitting there on A Friday at 8pm going ugh you know What I mean if it's Saturday at 3 P.M I Don't give a if it's Saturday at 8pm I'm like damn I would have wish I Was on a date but if I go on a day day Also a day-date lets me know that you Have another date lined up Oh no I wouldn't I wouldn't say that oh I always assume that that I understand That you always assume that and I'm not Even saying that you have never ever Ever been right I'm saying though that I Can only speak from the experiences that I've like watched Friends have and stuff Like that I think that sometimes there Is

It depends on when you meet the person Because we both know people who aren't Actually players Oh men and women oh most people I don't Think most people are players I think This whole also I think that player idea That player culture player lifestyle Thing has been detrimental to everybody Yeah it's not it's not good for anybody And I think only a few people can Actually pull it off to where they have A date after their date and then and and They're gonna also keep time and that Yeah I mean I think that With me because because once again I Brought up the like not drinking and Stuff like that it's like I had to pick Things that would be fun or interesting To do that had nothing to do with that So that I wasn't that creep that was Like Can I buy you a drink and I guess Another one while I just talk yeah Because you can't do bars because if you If you buy me a drink and then you have Water I'm gonna think that you drug my Drink Yeah yeah it's like it's like I don't Want to be anywhere near any of that Like speculation right and so my thing As well is is I find that Regardless of when and this actually Kind of hurts my argument a little bit But regardless of what time of day it is

The amount of work someone put into Their idea is like Paramount to me for How much they care you know because the There's also a deeply casual side two Nighttime dates which is Netflix and Chilling it's like hey I'm gonna bring Over some food or like let me cook for You at my place For you yeah you can't cook for me You can't cook for me until I have Comfortably gone to your house and then Left yeah yeah like that whole like a Guy was like I want to cook for you on a First date and I said absolutely not He's like why not I said I want to die On my own time also truly are you a chef Are you a chef because if you're a chef Then come with it You know but if you're a chef then I Will come to your restaurant okay so my Buddy did that exact thing if he like Was like oh let me cook for you whatever Right and then he he cooked for her and Then later on that night she was like Okay Um I had a great time thank you so much And The whole time he was cooking she was Stealing and he was like I don't know How she got everything out of the how Because she only had her purse so he's Like unless she had another bag I didn't See not this much stuff should be Missing right wait what yeah yeah yeah

Yeah yeah He was like he was like she came over I Cooked and then like um we They ate and then like they made they Like didn't like fully hook up right They like maybe made out on the couch Watch a little TV whatever and then she Was like I had a great time I have to go Right but then he was like Hey so so Many different things were missing from Places that weren't next to each other I was like man you got robbed Rob robbed She must have had a bag she sat in the Hallway that's what I'm thinking right It had to be it had to be getting up When she went to the bathroom like it's Like how how It's like a riddle it's like well okay So she took so she took some stuff that Was like oh you might just be like a Klepto yeah I mean because she took some Of the not like there was a nice he had A nice soap Um like a real nice soap that you could Just probably like twist the cap back Down and put that in the purse whatever Yeah and then uh she she got a hold of Some loose money which is like all right You left the money out you know I mean That's that's easy enough to steal uh But then I think he said he had a Game Boy And he was like I don't know when she Would have got the Game Boy

Because it was like In his room on a bookshelf or something But they didn't go in his room so he's Like she must just been in my room while My bike was tired while I was cooking The was he Was he no I know he was making pasta I Know he was he was probably making pasta But it's like it's like that's so I mean I didn't get the full list of everything That she took but there were some he was More telling me about the locations Because he was like she stole something From the bathroom she stole something From my bedroom even though we didn't Like go it like it's not like they like Went to his bed and you know what I mean And then uh she also took something from The living room and I was like man That's No money is there the money is like I is This me all right I get it because the Money is like all right look there's 50 On the table not saying anybody should Steal but there's 50 on the table now You just made fifty dollars from your Meal Most people have to pay for their food Right but the soap and The Game Boy and Like I don't know he but he said it was A lot of stuff like it was a lot of Things so she must have had a bag in the Hallway like when he thought she was Going to the bathroom she was going to

The bathroom and making a stop at the Hallway and you know what I mean Maybe her purse was bigger than he Thought it was that's what that's also What I think it has to be is like the The bag in the hallway makes a lot of Sense but the bag in the hallway could Also you know maybe get seen as trash or Yeah I mean like like that that to me Seems like a deeper grift than just Having a bag that is uh what you may Call it you know the bags that I don't Know purses so I don't know what I'm Talking about but you know you know Those bags that have a button And when you undo that button it becomes A bigger bag Yeah it's like an accordion bag yeah Yeah maybe she had one of those oh my God who was telling me they were going On this date he was in Manhattan he went To go meet some girl like No he was in Brooklyn he wanted to go Meet some girl like at the top of Harlem So it took like two and a half hours on The train And she was like don't eat today I'm Gonna make you dinner Johnny it's gonna Be a huge dinner Johnny she's supposed To make lasagna And He gets there And not only is nothing prepped [Laughter]

Not only is nothing prepped Not only is nothing oh she she she's Still struggling with the package that The lasagna noodles come in she hasn't Even gone grocery shopping yet Oh Oh what an attack Truly she wants him to come shopping With her she likes her men week that's What it is she was like go ahead starve Yourself all day all right I'm gonna see How you handle this long walk that we Take in this grocery store where we walk Past all the food So it's two hours on the train I don't Know where the he was coming from It was two hours on the train but it Sounds like a nightmare I don't know if He was in the back of Brooklyn The basement of bro I don't know where The he was but took two hours and Some change from where he was to get to The top of Harlem Talking on the phone and then at one Point and then when he gets there she Doesn't Buzz him in He has to wait 30 minutes for him to Look for her to let him in Is she home Yes so she's not answering her phone Either she's not answering the phone What reason did she give she wasn't Ready

And so she so she knew he was down there Yeah This is chaos this is this is like Absolutely unacceptable wait so she knew He was down there waiting for half an Hour at the door Well I had already been on the train for Two something hours to get there and he And she told him not to eat yes This is Terrorism and then while then They're gonna get ready to go shopping But she wants to get weed Before they go shopping So now they have to wait for the weed Man And so was he sustained himself on water Uh I guess the hope of getting Probably I don't know That's not like that What is worth all that Then Then There's still enough food they're Hanging out she just wants to hang out She gets high forgets that she's Supposed to make this lasagna so he's Reminding her that we have to go to the Store To go get the stuff to make the lasagna And now she doesn't want to make it Because she's High she makes herself Something to eat Like whatever she had in her house Offers him none and then wants to fool

Around and he was like how dare you did He Sue he should sue Hahaha I will get this way at a lawyer and he Should sue He and then the whole is he said like at One point like the dealer was just Hanging out Dealer hadn't left the dealer had left At a certain point he was there for too Long that's great more for the for the Suit this is building the case and I've Only said I'm sure people and I like I Thought the thing is I know people Listening to this they're thinking I'm Making this up as I go along because When he was telling me this I thought he Was making it up as he went along but he Started getting upset retelling it and I Was like oh no this actually happened to Him yeah no and and That's so unacceptable that's so and Then I was like so what has it did you Ever get the lasagna and he was like no That is so rude and you know what this Is this is the thing that bothers me Because this is the type of person who Is so blissfully unaware That She probably is telling a story about This ungrateful dude Who she introduced to her dealer you Know it's like I introduced him to the Plug and then he won't get an attitude

With me because I didn't make him dinner I'm sorry it's not the 1950s I don't Have to make somebody just say That sounds like the type of person that Would forget that they offer because They did forget that they offered and Then they'll forget again because Clearly they smoke up so they're gonna Forget again and then when they forget The next time they're gonna be like who Are you to think that I should just cook You something what have you done for me Lately he said he she reheated like some Food or something like she heat up Leftovers and tried to offer him some While she was in the middle of eating it And he was like no I'm good Now look we're all adults here yes he Could have left a minute 25 of alcohol I Said this to him so many times why did You leave when she didn't come to the Door why didn't you leave when the Dealer showed up why didn't you leave When food was coming why didn't you Order your own food there were So many times when you could have left He was like I was just trying I was like you were trying to that's why You stayed I understand but also there's There's something to be said for like Just because someone's willing to sit There doesn't mean that you can this Should all be illegal Every every aspect of this should be

There's a thing about America right the American justice system people will sue For a bunch of stuff they'll try to get Money everything we shouldn't be doing All that right we should be suing for What's right okay that man should sue Her and he should be awarded a lasagna That's all I want I just want the world To be a little bit more fair Does she have to make it 100 percent okay she has to make two and Throw what away all right or give him Both that's restitution Yeah rest but this is the thing what if This is what you never think about what If it wasn't good She started to make them Yeah but but it it was never it was Never her job to make it good it was her Job to make it because she said she'd Make it okay that's I I if it's not good I look I completely she may have got High and remembered she doesn't make Good lasagna that could also have been What happened she may have been high and Was like the last time I tried to make Lasagna I accidentally made cake right Yeah I mean so maybe she doesn't but she Should she should do what she said that That's so rude Um and look I'll even offer up this that must have Been a nighttime date because he was so He it was a day date

Wow hilarious Um what we're gonna do now is kick over This to the listeners you know like what Let us know your thoughts on Day dates Versus night dates remember you can eat At both you can do activities at both it Really is your presence I believe the Lessons with this Ladies Femmes Anyone living in their feminine energy Stop paying for things Oh Lord stop stop okay stop okay these Men are worried that if we make as much Money as them we're not going to need Them so let them know we still need them Because this is a thing they still make More money than us we still don't have Income equality Okay so until The patriarchy and I don't like to use That word because I'm not a 20 year old White girl in college But until Society as a whole Starts paying women ladies Femmes non-binaries anyone living in Their feminine Until they start paying us the same You will not be paying for this two for 20 at Applebee's don't do it don't It don't buy your own drinks and they're Gonna act like you owe them something Because they bought you

A white wine spritzer say no sir I have Eight dollars oh gosh Women did not those women did not March For you to pay for nachos they did it You think Gloria Steiner Stood up Uh did she burned bras and I've asked Her about this and she said I could be a Trophy wife Gloria steinham told me to My face that I could be a trophy wife Because that's the thing it's not about Working it's choosing whether you do or Not okay you want to be a stay-at-home Mom that's feminism you want to run a Corporation that's feminism if You want to make sure that this is paying for your tiramisu That's feminism stop paying for Stop it stop it I feel like the message Is getting somewhat muddied no no no no No this buddy this message is Crystal Clear baby girl play with me we Appreciate you listening you got a Vagina stop paying sounds crazy we love That you listen uh we hope you have as Much fun listening as we do recording uh We are on the socials we are out in the World if you want to see us if you want To keep up with us you can find me at Josh Johnson comedy on Tick Tock Instagram and YouTube and you can find Dual say Sloan you can find me Feminist icon [Laughter]

I don't write books about me Josh You can find me not helping don't say Slow On all social media platforms Don't say slow now I'm gonna be yes I'm Not helping all right but yeah come find Me have a great rest of the day go on Some great dates we wish you the best Dates coming up Man [Music]